Replacing my phone: Take no prisoners

Aalap has been one of my close friends for years. Throughout the duration of our friendship we have both been party to an abnormal amount of accidental destruction. Once upon a time I accidentally ripped the sink out of the wall of his apartment, and we both don’t know exactly how this feat was possible particularly given that it was unintentional. We’ve dumped water into lap tops, had laptops stolen out of cars, and had pieces of the car we are riding in fly off on 520. Our damage path continues. Somehow someway while using his charger that I’ve used a million times we got it stuck in headset mode. This means no one can hear me, and the speakers are off. I can hear texts with my USB headphones, but no one can hear me through my USB mic. I have no idea what happened so, no offence to my dearest friend, but let me say this…. If I ever have to pick one person to go on a survival trip, or a deserted island your off the short list. You wouldn’t be in my top 50. Not for lack in faith in you, but for faith that somehow our combined forces can do nothing good. We wouldn’t last a day on a deserted island.

So now my phone is a giant semi sophisticated looking beeper. I went to T-Mobile to discuss my options. I was immediately surrounded by 6 reps all telling me that every blind person they know uses android. One of them was extremely cocky, I believe he was trying really hard to be funny, he landed somewhere between annoying and painful. They kept repeating over and over to me that ALL the blind people they know use this one solution. I’m thinking to myself, how many blind people could you possibly know? Each of you at best has a token blind friend, but I know for certain you don’t have dozens and dozens of blind friends all texting you using their android phones.

I mentioned that I didn’t know any blind people who used it. The really cocky guy tells me I need to find more blind friends, and so begins my war with T-Mobile. This swarm of reps has no idea the tremendous joy I take in negotiating and fighting these meaningless little battles. This is yet another of the quarks I inherited from my dear Father. Whether it’s bring IHull.Com dock side chat to their knees (good one dad!) or my many many battles over various charges and bills, we live for this.

So I do some research and I resign to get an iPhone. I knew going into this that this won’t be straight forward. I’ll spare you all the decision points along the way. Coach Aaron had recommended I buy the keyboard that goes with it. It eases the accessibility of the touch screen. I ask this guy at best buy about buying a companion blue tooth keyboard. He comes waving a desktop keyboard in front of me. I clarify that I meant a keyboard for a phone, as you might imagine I think the fact I have to clarify this is irritating as it should be obvious. So he tells me no such thing exists. I mention to him that I’m certain I’ve held blue tooth keyboards for phones in my hands, and I’m even more certain that they do in fact exist. He then moves to his secondary tactic which is to prove to me that the desktop keyboard will fit in a purse or a handbag and will meet my needs. I tend to carry a small purse. He doesn’t even try mine. He pulls some random woman who was also shopping for a new phone to show me that this desk top keyboard will fit in her bag. At some point I wasn’t even interested in continuing I just wanted to see what he would do next. He was unpredictable, very willing to go the extra mile. I started just running with it. “Ok, I get it… So all I need to do is run across the street to ROSS, buy a purse big enough to land a plane in, and then I can get an iPhone with the keyboard of a desktop?” My salesmen the comedian was befuddled. I took down the information, pledged to get more info from Coach Aaron on make and model, and plan to return tomorrowwith proof beyond a reasonable doubt that blue tooth keyboards do exist for phones.

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